who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
