Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
