Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize