It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and she was petting her beer can
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
