My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
