**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she woke up with a sticky ear
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
