I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
two words: eviction party
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
