I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
