Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
