Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
