shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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