HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
