How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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