I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
