You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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