Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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