Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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