Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
