THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
