remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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