I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
