Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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