gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
