I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
