Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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