She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
