Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
