forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
