I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
