If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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