Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
