I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
