I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
