i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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