shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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