That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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