What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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