So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
