I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
