I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
