is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
