you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
