He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
