So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
