i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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