so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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