Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
