Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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