I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole