Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

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  (772): Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend http://tfl.nu/ot3u
  Replies (3) Good night (792) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober

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  (403): i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober http://tfl.nu/y1xh
  Replies (28) Good night (1141) Bad night (3913)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

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  (860): I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist http://tfl.nu/xqx0
  Replies (16) Good night (1400) Bad night (4098)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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  (906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i
  Replies (56) Good night (1050) Bad night (9791)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.

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  (412): I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on. http://tfl.nu/5fm3
  Replies (30) Good night (10354) Bad night (1683)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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  (201): He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me. http://tfl.nu/n6mr
  Replies (12) Good night (6543) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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  (816): I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there? (1-816): Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/46j7
  Replies (9) Good night (3262) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...

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  (316): Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call... http://tfl.nu/fydz
  Replies (16) Good night (2122) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.

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  (304): I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life. http://tfl.nu/wtpe
  Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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  (760): You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today http://tfl.nu/u74i
  Replies (2) Good night (991) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Bang-toberfest begins!!

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  (662): Bang-toberfest begins!! http://tfl.nu/i6ge
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

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  (708): Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything? (1-708): Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference. http://tfl.nu/anav
  Replies (14) Good night (1320) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.

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  (954): in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine. http://tfl.nu/pi7u
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

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  (317): This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me. http://tfl.nu/qrey
  Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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  (716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (226)

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