Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.

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  (918): It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/5huo
  Replies (4) Good night (1054) Bad night (757)
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  (707): View more from California

  you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!

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  (707): you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?! http://tfl.nu/ug5x
  Replies (17) Good night (3783) Bad night (734)
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  (845): View more from New York

  felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter

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  (845): felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter http://tfl.nu/o0yy
  Replies (33) Good night (1578) Bad night (6456)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes

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  (514): you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes http://tfl.nu/cth1
  Replies (21) Good night (7922) Bad night (1481)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

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  (630): Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on. (217): Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/huht
  Replies (13) Good night (9195) Bad night (1263)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us

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  (304): Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us http://tfl.nu/9jfi
  Replies (4) Good night (2688) Bad night (876)
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  (949): View more from California

  ... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs

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  (949): ... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs http://tfl.nu/niav
  Replies (6) Good night (1983) Bad night (839)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.

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  (732): I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/4od2
  Replies (5) Good night (855) Bad night (1747)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I could have done it in 2

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  (917): Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts. (978): I could have done it in 2 http://tfl.nu/64hz
  Replies (8) Good night (3354) Bad night (738)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.

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  (781): He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent. http://tfl.nu/jtvv
  Replies (4) Good night (2113) Bad night (509)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold

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  (407): I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold http://tfl.nu/xl1f
  Replies (6) Good night (1015) Bad night (606)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'

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  (509): I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?' http://tfl.nu/4a3m
  Replies (7) Good night (2188) Bad night (580)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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  (850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted
  Replies (1) Good night (1124) Bad night (497)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was

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  (630): He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was http://tfl.nu/qjtz
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (802)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.

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  (832): Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties. http://tfl.nu/yjtl
  Replies (8) Good night (582) Bad night (755)

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