Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

  (646): View more from New York

  Lmao what?

  (917): View more from New York City

  It's a yes or no question.

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  (917): She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms? (646): Lmao what? (917): It's a yes or no question. http://tfl.nu/ypn0
  Replies (20) Good night (5287) Bad night (1474)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood

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  (518): Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood http://tfl.nu/j6ni
  Replies (16) Good night (3539) Bad night (1002)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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  (716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9
  Replies (4) Good night (1894) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

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  (757): Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :( http://tfl.nu/ztju
  Replies (25) Good night (3523) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

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  (215): i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be.. http://tfl.nu/8j64
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.

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  (405): Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast. http://tfl.nu/xva7
  Replies (5) Good night (2494) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun

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  (347): Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun http://tfl.nu/317f
  Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.

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  (919): Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face. http://tfl.nu/tvg8
  Replies (1) Good night (947) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that

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  (870): I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that http://tfl.nu/cuww
  Replies (3) Good night (1317) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me

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  (406): Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me http://tfl.nu/g324
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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  (231): I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle http://tfl.nu/1xsa
  Replies (7) Good night (1082) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.

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  (406): Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story. http://tfl.nu/fe6z
  Replies (7) Good night (1558) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

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  (209): I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore http://tfl.nu/6h5d
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.

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  (909): If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3. http://tfl.nu/6vn1
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans

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  (443): Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans http://tfl.nu/4sr3
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (192)

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