This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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