she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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