I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
