she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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