you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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