I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
