do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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