you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he wants to bone in the snuggie
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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