in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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