It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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