conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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