We're like a lot better than the average bears
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
