Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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