You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
